Why subscribe?

Lord. I don’t know what to put in these sorts of things.

You want people to subscribe, right?

Well, yeah of course I do.

So give them a reason, you miscreant.

Because if they do, my inner monologue will go slightly easier on me?

[long, painful sigh]

Okay. Does the name Darius Washington immediately bring up some traumatic feelings for you, even if you don’t know why? Do you have very specific memories about your family that also feature Kevin Pittsnogle for some reason? Do you know the difference in Dontae Jones and Dahntay Jones and are you prepared, without prompting, to defend your preferred D. Jones to the ends of the earth and beyond? Welcome home. This place is for you.