SETTING: The Kentucky Men’s Basketball Offices, late-November 2024
A visibly exhausted Mark Pope is spent. A few weeks into the first season of his dream job and he’s learning everyone in the state has an opinion on how he’s doing at it, which they’ll share at all times whether it was asked for or not.
It started on the recruiting trail over the summer, which he hit hard and fast and landed something approaching a decent haul. He also was asked about every zero-star tall white boy from Calloway County to coal country and it seemed impossible to disappoint them all, even if they all would be disappointed eventually.
Transylvania might be good again though, and that’s not nothing.
Now the season, and it’s been a gauntlet already. He just wants to survive, maybe hit a milestone or two. Beating his mentor/hero Rick Pitino would be nice and give everyone a sense of hope. That close call against Morehead State was less than inspiring.
The ‘Cats are 5-2 coming out of Thanksgiving when the phone rings…
MARK: Yes?
LINDA [UK men’s basketball administrative assistant]: Um… Coach? It’s the Vatican again.
MARK: [shakes head, sighs] Again?
LINDA: Yes. Some Cardinal or other has PF beside him, and he is madddddddddddd.
Father Jim Sichko had nothing but the best of intentions in his heart when he gifted Il Papa that Pope Kentucky men’s basketball jersey. It was a nice moment and (in the world of ‘always be ‘crootin’) you can’t buy that level of visibility on a global level. But the Pontiff had taken his status as World’s Most Visible ‘Cat to an unhealthy level of obsession.
MARK: [sighs again] Alright, put him through I guess. Did he say what he wanted this time?
LINDA: Not exactly, but I gathered it had something to do with the Villanova game?
MARK: [Confused] The Villanova game? We don’t have a game against Villanova?
LINDA: Maybe you should just speak with His Eminence, I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.