A brief, incomplete history of Division I exhibition losses
Because even Jim Boeheim once got pantsed by Le Moyne
Right now, the games don’t count. I won’t say they don’t matter because for many a freshman, these glorified practice sessions are their first foray into live-action college hoops. For many a walk-on, these minutes are likely to be their most meaningful all season. And for many of the opponents, this will be one of their few brushes with big-time college basketball.
But for all practical purposes, nothing going on during the Division I’s post-hibernation awakening period will mean anything two weeks from now, let alone two decades from now. A semi-local outfit—and the mileage could vary, Division II or Division III or NAIA or perhaps even the little-known National Christian College Athletic Association, shoutout Oakland City—is brought in so the big boys can kick off the rust and face some live competition that isn’t each other in front of a crowd of dozens of the most basketball-mad people walking God’s earth. I saw you on ESPN+ in a 90 percent empty Carrier Dome Tuesday night, you absolute degenerates, God and local bookies love you.
Most of these games go a certain way—poorly, for the future dentists and high school teachers brought in as sacrificial fodder for the local DI outfit. The athleticism difference from high-major to mid-major in Division I is not always noticeable, and even at its starkest there are always a few players on the losing side who hold their own and prove if to no one other than themselves that they could acquit themselves nicely against the best. Somewhere out there is a bench player from some Big South school whose shining moment was hanging a dozen against an ACC school and I hope he’s doing well and still gets free drinks based that game, final score be damned.
The exhibitions, however, often take on a JV against the varsity feel, only if the varsity was stocked with players who might go on to a decade-long professional career either domestically or overseas and the JV was a collection of slow-footed, undersized bombers trying anything to make up for the startling athletic difference. These games can get ugly. Empty the bench, invite the pep band to form a five for the last few minutes, run-the-clocks-and-get-us-out-of-here ugly.
Except. Every so often… magic. Like this.
In the early returns in this still-young exhibition season, there have been a few games that have stirred up the memories of shocking preseason upsets past—Stetson needed overtime Tuesday night to dispatch Tampa, for example, and I thought we had another entry into what I’ve dubbed D2 Exhibition Upset SZN.
These are rare. So rare. So precious. They cannot be lost to the sands of time. They must be chronicled for posterity. Here now is a brief, recent and in no way comprehensive list of recent instances where David poked Goliath right between the eyes.